In the short time we've been in the adoption process we've learned what an emotional rollercoaster it is for everyone involved. One day you think things are one way and then the next they seem to completely change. Last week we had some serious ups and downs starting the week thinking that we'd be certified to adopt in 2 weeks, then on Wednesday being told "Oh no, it'll take more like 2 months!" and then 2 days later finding out that a miracle had happened, and we were certified in 3 days! Then we heard from the agency that there may be a baby available next week!!!
So... we're on pins and needles waiting to hear whether we will be placed with a baby this week or not. We should hear in a couple of days, but it is gut wrenching not knowing. Do you prepare things or not? Do you hope for it or not? It reminds me so much of my single days hoping to find "the one" (which I don't really believe there is one right person, but that's another story) and thinking that I had found him, but then it wouldn't work out. I tried to live by a mantra during those lonely years, "Nothing is happening until it's happening." In other words, no matter how much I thought I'd marry a guy, it wasn't real until we were actually getting married. Of course, it did finally happen one time, one marvelous happy time. I love my husband and am so glad I waited for him.
Now I'm reminding myself again that "nothing is happening until it's happening" and it won't be the right baby for us until it we are actually placed with a baby. Now if I could only tell my heart that that's how it works...
