Monday, April 14, 2008

Thoughts About Motherhood

OK, so here is the thought provoking post about one of my "keys to happiness." I love being a mother! I have had my share of trials becoming a mother. I had trouble finding the father, first of all, and then once we found each other and married, getting the children here was no easy task. I won't bore you with the long version, but I will sum up by saying that I had 5 surgeries in 3 years (including my 2 c-sections) and ended up with HELLP syndrome (HERE is a good description of what that is) with my 1st baby and preeclampsia with my second.

Of course, even with "normal" deliveries, having a baby is no easy task. Then, once they're here, your world is changed forever and that can be really overwhelming. There are definitely days when I feel like I'm ready to go hide under a rock somewhere, or in my bathroom, or in my bed... But there are so many other times when I am grateful to have these two beautiful children who are bright, fun, innocent people. Do they know the sacrifices I am making for them? No. They may never know until they have their own children, but that isn't the point. It's not about acknowledgment or recognition. It's about having my three-year-old tell me, "Mommy, I'm so proud of you for going on the potty!" after watching me pee, or hearing my one-year-old point and ask, "What's dat?" about EVERYTHING!

Whoever these girls become has a lot to do with what I am doing now. Their impressions of the world and how they fit into it will be based to a large extent on how I treat them, and how they feel growing up in our home. It is true that I have known people who came from extremely difficult backgrounds rise above their childhood and become productive, happy adults. But, my hope is that my children will at least know that no matter what happens, I love them and will always be there.

So, what has made me think about this on this Monday morning? Mostly the fact that when I woke up today and heard my baby yelling, "Mama!" from her crib, I knew that she meant me. I am a mama; I am her mama, and nobody can replace me or do what I do for her. There are many who could take care of her and be there for her, but I will always be her mother. Is it overwhelming? Yes. Is it challenging? Yes. Is it worth it? Absolutely!

Who wouldn't fall in love with these 2 faces?


Omgirl said...

HOLY IDENTICAL TO BARB! I know you've told me that about Rebekkah before, but I've never seen it until now. WOW.

Also, your post made me cry. It's so true about motherhood.

jennie w. said...

You're always so deep Kim. I mean that as a compliment.