Times and Seasons

When my first child Maija was born and I was home with her pretty much full time, I felt like with this blessing of a beautiful baby girl also came a new kind of challenge I'd never experienced before. I felt like I would never have any freedom ever again and that my whole existence revolved around feedings and diaper changes. It's that fog that a mother goes through with every new baby, but with the first it's the scariest because you don't know yet that at some point you will get more than 2 hours of sleep at a time.

It was during this newborn fog that I complained to my mother about my feelings of isolation and lack of freedom. My mother said a very wise thing to me. She told me that there are times and seasons for everything and the day would come when my children would be older, and I'd have the time and freedom that I missed so much. That thought has gotten me through many a difficult day of crying children, constant messes, and unending diaper changes.

One of the things that I gave up in order to focus on having, adopting and raising babies was my career as a teacher and future professor. I was a PhD student in Education when Maija was born and after a year of struggling to continue the program (and after being told by one of my professors that I had no business having babies while I was getting a PhD...story for another day), I finally decided to quit the program. Although there were a lot of things that led me to quit, the primary reason was my desire to have children and raise them myself. Several friends and family members tried to convince me to continue, but once I prayed about it, I knew it was the right decision for me. Although it was a painful experience, it ended up being a blessing for our whole family. I know now that if I had stayed in the program we would never have had Rebekah because of the pressures to not have children while in school.

Have I ever regretted my decision? No. Have I given up on being an educator and getting my PhD someday? No. Because I know that there are times and seasons for everything. Now is my time to raise my four little children and focus on being a mother. The day will come when I will have the time and freedom to continue school if I so choose. And, interestingly I have been slowly and almost imperceptibly moving into a new season with my children now that my baby is almost 18 months and we have no plans for any more babies (see my previous post here for more on that.). For the first time in six years I am teaching again as a substitute teacher, and I'm loving it. I'm able to pick and choose when and how much I work, and I can still be home most of the time with the kids. I feel blessed to be a mother and blessed to be a teacher again. I can see now that my mother was exactly right. Nothing ever stays the same, and we don't have to be or do all things at once. As women, we can have it all, but it doesn't have to be all right now!!!

Subliminal Baby

I had a truly frightening experience last night. I was visiting a friend who just gave birth to her third child a month ago. Her baby girl is absolutely beautiful. I was holding her (the baby, not the friend) and she looked in my eyes and smiled. That's when things got really scary. She started cooing at me, and I thought to myself, "I could do another baby."

What in the world? My baby is only 16 months old and is just barely walking and talking. I still have 2 kids in diapers and only one of my four children is in school all day. What kind of subliminal power did this baby have that caused such a crazy thought to enter my mind? Of course, I could never mention my scary experience to my husband; I'm pretty sure he would go catatonic. Please don't misunderstand me. I love my four babies, but I am so ready to get past the diapers, high chairs, bottles, urine, poop, and carseat phase. When we adopted Kiira, we both felt like our family was complete. And I think it is. Which is why my experience last night scared the crud out of me.

This reminds me of a study I read about years ago. Researchers found that when they showed women pictures of babies, their pupils dilated. However, they did not find the same reaction in men, although men's pupils did dilate when shown pictures of women. Go figure! I really do think that there is a biological reaction women have to babies. But, as sweet and beautiful as my friend's baby is, I was happy to have her smile and coo at me and then hand her back to her mommy.

Why I Still Feel Like I'm Faking It

It all came out in a torrent of words, tears and emotions. It had been a tough couple of weeks with the kids and trying to keep up with everything. When my husband made a comment about doing the dishes so they don't sit overnight, I lost it. He wasn't suggesting that I do the dishes; he was offering to do them. But, to me it sounded like a very loud, "Can't you even keep up with the dishes?"

In the outburst that followed, I said something that keeps coming back to me. I was going on and on about the hard week I was having and how I spend most of my time and energy just keeping our four young children fed and alive. And then I blurted out, "I don't know what I'm doing! I don't know how to do this right.". After four babies in five years, I don't know what I'm doing? I don't know how to do this mothering thing? Really? What did I mean by saying that? I realized that somewhere inside of me I still feel like the new mom with a two-day-old baby who looks down on her child and thinks, "Is this for real? Am I supposed to know what to do with this child?". I still feel like an imposter. Like one day someone's going to see me for the fraud that I am and call me out, "Hey, you! What do you think you're doing pretending to be a mom?"

The irony of it is that amidst my daily mistakes and piles of things undone, my children actually think I know everything. My oldest, Maija, even asked me recently, "Mommy, do you know everything?". Wow, I'm pretty good at this faking it thing, at least in the eyes of my six-year-old. Unfortunately, I don't know everything nor can I do everything. I'm just hoping that when all is said and done, my children will look back and remember a happy childhood and will be blissfully unaware that I had no idea what I was doing.

When...

A good friend of mine once said to me, "The scales are always balanced." We were talking about the difficulties of raising small children. She had a child starting junior high and on the other end of the spectrum her youngest was a year and a half old. Her point was that parenting older children has its own set of difficulties and challenges. No matter what your situation in life or what stage you're at, life will never be without challenges. The scales are always balanced.

How many times have I caught myself thinking, "When he starts walking then at least I won't have to carry him around anymore" or "When she goes to school all day, then life will be easier because I'll have one less child at home" or "When I'm married, life will be easier because I'll have someone to go through life with" or "When I have children then I won't feel such emptiness and life will be easier"? By the way, the latter thought is the funniest to me now. When, when, when... Why do we suppose that one day life will be easier or better? As if life now were so terrible.

I can logically tell myself that life will always have its ups and downs, but for some reason I perpetually have that when in the back of my head. Today was a rough day and my whens went something like this - "When she starts preschool next week then I can focus more on him and he'll be happier so he wont' act out so much, and then I'll be happier. When he is one year older then he'll be able to communicate better and won't get so frustrated." Of course, the underlying "..and then life will be easier" is implied. If only I could remember that the scales will always be balanced. One day when my little ones are teenagers I'll probably look back and wish that my biggest problems were diaper changes, dribbling sippy cups and defiant toddlers. But for now thoughts of when often get me through the hardest days, and I'm not sure I'm ready to give that up.

The Boring Housewife

I've been thinking a lot lately about some of the myths that exist in our society. For instance, I'm a Mormon so I must be naive, white, suburban and have little knowledge of the world. I'm overweight so I must be depressed, self-deprecating and hate my body. I'm a stay-at-home mother so my life must be dull, colorless, monotonous and boring. Movies tell me this; television tells me this; magazines tell me this. If I cared at all what society thought of me, I'd be an unhappy person indeed. But, reality never is as simple or stereotypical as movies portray it to be.

My life and I are much more complex than that. I'm a Mormon who grew up moving from country to country where most of my friends were decidedly not suburban, white or even American. Although my weight isn't what it once was, I'm a generally happy person and I can still see the beauty in me when I look in the mirror. And, let me just say now for the record that being a stay-at-home mother is anything but boring. Boring never happens to me. Sometimes I wish it would. My days are filled with glorious chaos and messes and children who say things like, "I'm a superhero princess and I'm saving my kingdom." Not boring.

It got me to thinking about how these myths came to be. I can't even count how many movies I've seen where the boring naive subservient housewife realizes how bored, naive and subservient she is and only finds fulfillment by leaving behind her overbearing husband and nagging children. It seems like we are ever faced with story after story of women whose lives aren't really meaningful until they break out of the confines of motherhood. Who makes these movies anyway? Women who have been stay-at-home mothers and have now "seen the light" that it was all a waste of time? Who are their subject matter experts? Is there some stay-at-home mom they've hired as a consultant to tell them how it really is? No, because most SAMs (stay-at-home mothers) are busy teaching, feeding, listening to, and taking care of their children. In other words, they're not sitting around bored.

I have to add here that I'm not saying being a mother is easy...at all. It is hard work, but that's my point. It's work, and it's filled with never ending surprises and chaos. So, whatever it is, it 'aint boring. For some reason I think it makes people (and I mean people who believe these myths) feel better to think that someone like me must be so miserable and unfulfilled. Or maybe they just have no idea how much is involved in taking care of little children who can't take care of themselves yet. A good friend of mine told me recently that her husband asked her, "Why don't you get a job? It's not like you're doing anything sitting here all day." I won't say the word that popped in my head when she told me he'd said that. But, it shows that he obviously has never spent 24 hours taking care of a 3 year-old boy and a newborn baby (who's nursing by the way.) I doubt my friend is doing much sitting around at all, and I'm pretty sure if you asked her to describe her life, "boring" wouldn't be the adjective she chooses.

So to all you fulfilled, self-actualized, educated, intelligent, talented, interesting, fun and busy housewives out there, just remember that even if they don't make a movie about your life, or your name isn't in lights, you don't make the big bucks or get an annual bonus, your work goes unappreciated, and you're misunderstood -- at least your life isn't boring! And there are little people who are growing up secure and loved knowing you are always there for them.

Happy Mother's Day 2011

This photo collage created with Smilebox

False Starts

This is my 3rd attempt to begin a new post. I started writing about how I've been working with Cub Scouts, but then I realized there wasn't much to tell, at least not that I'd want to blog about. Then I was going to write about Kent's upcoming graduation in December until I realized that the only thing I had to say was that we don't know what that will mean for our family - and now I've said that in one sentence. Truthfully, the most entertaining part of my life is my children. Lately, Maija has been making me laugh and surprising me with her comments: "Mommy, I didn't hear you say please!" or "Mommy, you are making me so mad!" Yeah, she thinks she's in charge. For the hundredth time this week I reminded her, "I am the mommy." Then she said, "Well, I am Maija." Aha! The "Maija" trumps all.

Mainly, the last week has been a juggling act - getting Maija to preschool and dance class, taking Rebekah to tumbling class, going to Cub Scouts training meetings, planning meetings, den meetings, visiting with relatives on the Farny side, and trying to keep up with my house in the meantime. I'm pretty confident that most of the women I know, especially those with children, are in the same boat. Even though it sometimes feels overwhelming, the truth is that being busy makes me happy. I love seeing my girls learn new things and have a chance to be active, even though it is WAY too hot to play outside. I love learning something new myself with Cub Scouts and other activities. I love the feeling of seeing my house clean for the 2 minutes it will actually stay that way. Overall, things are good.

Life in Music - My Life as Alicia Part 3

You can see pics of Maija's first day of preschool by clicking on this picture -

This is yet another Maija story, but I just had to blog about it. There's a Bekah story, too. I know. You're all waiting with baited breath for the next installment of "Life With Kim's Kids" or what I am affectionately referring to as the "Life As Alicia" series.

Dinnertime presents all sorts of fun challenges, as I know it does for most households with children. With Maija it's getting her to stay in her seat long enough to actually eat something! Usually when she proclaims that she's done, that means she has eaten 1 or 2 bites of food, and she is pretty sure that's enough to get her through until the morning because we all know how important it is to get back to playing.

Tonight she said she was done eating after the usual 2 bites, and Kent told her that she had to wait until we were all done eating. He tried to get her to eat more to no avail, so he told her that even if she didn't want to eat, the rest of us did. She continued to insist that she was done and should be allowed to leave the table. Finally, Kent told her to sing a song while she waited for us. This was, of course, a desperate attempt to divert her attention from the issue at hand. So what does she do? She starts singing, "When can I get down? When can I get down? When can I get down?..." over and over and over!

The Bekah story may not be as funny in writing as it was to see, but I'll give it a shot. She has started standing on the back of our love seat to see over the half-wall into the kitchen. Most of the time she'll practically climb right over the divider wall trying to reach some tempting item on the kitchen counter. No matter how many times we tell her that she is not allowed to climb up there, she will inevitably try again. Once again, this afternoon she climbed up on the back of the couch and was standing on her tippy-toes to see over the wall. Kent told her, "Rebekah! Get down!" She immediately burst into tears, collapsed onto the couch sobbing, then rolled (purposely) onto the ground where she continued to cry as she sat there face down for the next several minutes. At 18 months, Rebekah is already a drama queen, and she knows how to throw a tantrum!

Other than my tales from the front lines of motherhood, there's not much to report. We're just trying to live each day the best we can.

Who's The Boss?

Continuing on the vein of Maija's need to pretty much run our lives, yesterday she was on one! Rebekah had taken a CD which I needed for work. I told her that she needed to give it back, which she really didn't want to do. Finally, I said, "Rebekah, no, no, no. Mommy needs that CD." I tried to take it out of her hands which led to a short tug-of-war. When I got the CD out of her hands, she immediately collapsed on the floor in a pool of tears. It was just about her nap time; I decided it was time to put her down.

As I picked her up, I heard Maija behind me, "Remember, Mommy, no fighting! OK? No fighting, Mommy." I started chuckling a little to myself and replied, "Maija, I wasn't fighting with Rebekah." "Yes, Mommy, I saw you. You were fighting. Now, no fighting, OK? Remember!" This made me laugh more, but I was trying really hard not to let Maija see. Of course, Rebekah who I was still holding did see me laughing and thought she'd join in, so she started laughing and laughing. Then I hear Maija say, "Now give Rebekah a hug and a kiss and say you're sorry!" All I could get out between laughs was "sorry".

Later in the day, Maija began to reprimand me for something else, and I finally told her, "Maija, I am the mommy. You don't tell me what to do." To which she quickly retorted, "But I want to!" Heaven help me!

My Life as Alicia - Part 2

Although I didn't have to play the roll of Alicia today, I did get a kick out of listening to Rebekah watch Dora. She's only 18 months, but she loves "Dowa" so much she will sit and interact completely with the show. When I hear Dora ask, "Can you help us save the pigmy marmoset?" Rebekah will say, "Yeah!" Or she'll answer "No" if she has seen the episode before and knows the answer is no. It's too funny! The funniest part to me is when she tries to repeat the Spanish phrases, especially since she can hardly speak English! Dora will say, "Can you say 'arriba'? Say 'arriba'!" And here's little Bekah repeating, "Iba".

Also, I have to publicly thank my sister-in-law, Jeannie, who took BOTH of my girls all day today! She was even willing to take them overnight, but I figured having them gone all day would be enough. It was nice to have the day to myself, but when I saw their cute little faces when they came home, I realized I had missed them.

Back Home and Adjusting: My Life As Alicia

Whew! The rush of July is coming to a close, and it was definitely an eventful month. We got back from our North Carolina trip a week ago today, but it really does feel like we were there a month ago. I listed a lot of our plans in a previous post, but just for fun, I made a list of everything that happened in July:

• Week 1 - Went to Pinetop and Snowflake for 4th of July! Girls got to ride a horse for the first time. Bekah loved it!
  
• Week 2 - Visited with my parents who were renting a house in Gilbert - did Swim Class and Dance Class for Maija - my parents left town - I was called into the Primary Presidency as 2nd Counselor (basically, I'm working with the children at church and overseeing Cub Scouts)
  
• Week 3 - Flew to North Carolina to visit my parents - Kent golfed every day - I enjoyed my mother's help with the girls & got a shopping day with my mother and no children!
  
• Week 4 - Flew back to Phoenix on a 6am flight (we left my parents' house @ 3am...not fun!) - Maija & Bekah rode their 1st train at the Atlanta airport - I jumped right into Primary work - Maija finished Swim Class for the summer and started another session of dance classes - Kent took his final exam in his summer class - On the weekend, we rested & caught up on housework
  
• Week 5 - Celebrated Kent's mother's birthday with the inlaws - got my hair colored for the 1st time in years (that was today, so that's where I'll end.)
  

Click on this link to see pictures of our fun and crazy month - http://picasaweb.google.com/farnies4/July2008

My Life as Alicia - Episode 1

As a final note, I often find myself being assigned the part of Alicia, as in Diego's sister Alicia. Maija will tell me at the beginning of the day, "You are pretending to be Alicia, and I am pretending to be Diego. OK?" That "OK?" is not really to secure my approval because this is really more of an order than a negotiation. For the rest of the day she will refer to me as Alicia: "Alicia, I want juice!" "Alicia, I'm hungry." "I hurt myself, Alicia." And if I don't refer to her as Diego, she often will not respond. Today was one of my Alicia days, and at one point after I helped Diego, oh, I mean Maija, put on her pants, she hugged me and said, "That's my girl, Alicia!" So funny!

Our Crazy July

I haven't blogged in a few weeks. There's been a lot going on, mostly revolving around family events. My parents flew in in mid-June to stay in the area for nearly a month. This has meant that on top of living our normal lives, we've been doing a lot of visiting between their rental place and our house. Frankly, I'm exhausted. It's great to have them close by, but the running around is tiring. Although the girls are in seventh heaven having so much attention and a great pool to swim at whenever they want.

In the midst of all of this, we've also been trying to get to swim class and a summer dance class for Maija. Both classes are almost over, and I think I'll give a sigh of relief when we can just "be" again, whatever that means. We also drove up to Pinetop to be with some of Kent's family for the 4th of July. It was so much fun to be with everyone, and the girls played and played and played! After 3 days, we were all worn out by the time we got home. We have 1 week at home, and then next week we head to North Carolina to ... visit my parents. Originally, my parents were not going to be coming here to see us this summer, so we had booked airline tickets for the four of us to go see them. Then all the plans changed, but we were still locked into the airline tickets...so we'll be heading out that way for a week.

By the time we get back from our trip, it'll be nearly the end of July!!! Kent's night class (he's had a class until 10:30pm on Mondays and Wednesdays) will be over, Maija's classes will be over, the summer will be almost over. Then the next big event for our little family will be when Maija starts preschool in early August. Whew! It's like an endurance race sometimes.

I hope everyone else's summer is filled with fun, too.

She Said

A few cute things the girls have said and done recently:

Maija had to go to the dentist today and get 2 fillings. I won't go into the guilt I felt over her having cavities even though we brush every day. Anyway, in order to have the work done, she had to take some medication which made her really loopy, and then they put her in a vest to basically strap down her arms so she didn't have any sudden movements. Of course, I was stressing about how the whole process would go. The dentist assured me that she wouldn't remember anything, so when we got home and she had gotten back to herself, of course we had to ask what she remembered. She said, "We went into the Finding Nemo room, I had a drink, and then Mommy read me a Backyardigans book." We asked her, "And then what?" She went on, "Then they put me in a chair and put on my wings, and then we went home." I'm pretty sure the "wings" referred to the restraining jacket they put on. In the end, she did really well and seems to have only remembered the nicer things. I have to mention how amazing her dentist is, Dr. Bashara at Sweet Tooth Pediatric Dentistry (http://sweettoothpedo.com). I love that place!

Another funny thing Maija came out with today. While we were waiting for the medication to start working, one of the dental assistants had given Maija a toy ring to wear. Maija looked at me and said, "Maybe I can get married now!" Then when the dentist asked her where she had gotten the ring, she replied, "It's my wedding ring." You should've seen his face. So funny!

Rebekah continues to be a very assertive and strong-willed girl, along with being totally adorable and loving. She has started saying "I want up", "I want down", "I want bak" (blanket), and "no" while she shakes her vigorously, among other things. She has also started biting! Actually, she only did it 1 time so far, but I was completely shocked. We were doing swim class, and she had decided she was done. I wouldn't let her get out of the pool and kept holding on to her and trying to get her to participate. I guess she didn't like that because as soon as my arm rested near her chin, she took the opportunity to chomp right down on it. Ouch! Those little baby teeth are strong.

Just another day at the Farny household.

Single Parents

Although I do not think that single parenthood is the ideal for either the parent or the child, I admire single parents who do their best and keep moving forward. Before I was a mother, I never could have imagined the amount of work and sacrifice required to raise children. I had heard others tell me of their challenges and had even seen some difficult situations, but as with anything else, you never know what it is like to go through something, until you have gone through it yourself.

I think this must be true with being a single parent. Since I haven't ever been a single mother myself, I will not presume to understand what it is like, but every time my husband goes out of town on business, I have a newfound respect for those parents who go it alone all the time. In the interest of full disclosure, I must add that I am extremely lucky to have a supportive and involved husband, who does quite a bit of his own sacrificing for our girls, and for me. I realize that in many ways I am spoiled, but I realize it even more when he's not around.

So, I'm already preparing myself mentally for next week, when I will be doing it solo. Luckily, Kent doesn't travel a lot, but the few times he is gone make me realize how amazing my own mother was. She wasn't a single mother either, but my father travelled a lot. He was gone about 2 weeks out of every month, and it was usually to another country halfway around the globe. Not only did my mother have to deal with us, but she also dealt with broken water heaters, flat tires, and a host of other repairs by herself. I can only imagine how many nights she felt alone and didn't know if she could go on. But for her there was relief in sight, knowing my father would return. I can't imagine how much more a single mother would feel the loneliness, not to mention the sheer exhaustion.

We all have our cross to bear, I suppose. However, now and then I get a glimpse of what someone else's cross might be like, and it is a good exercise in empathy.

The Texas Debacle

I just can't take it anymore! I keep seeing stories on television or reading the latest about the FLDS raid in Texas, and all I can think is, "Why are the children being punished?" If you truly believe that these children have been abused, why aren't the alleged abusers the ones sitting in a coliseum and sleeping on cots? This absolutely galls me and breaks my heart. As a mother, I can't help but think about how my innocent little girls' hearts would break to be taken from all they know and from their mommy. Why aren't the men the ones in custody?

I've heard many "experts" on various TV networks saying that Texas CPS did the right thing, and these children need to be "deprogrammed". And the government is going to do this? Ha! Even Carolyn Jessop, who escaped from the FLDS community in Colorado City, Arizona had one of her children later return to the group of her own volition. If a mother, who experienced the nightmare firsthand, could not "deprogram" her own child, then there is about zero chance these children will "see the light" and want to live in the outside world. This whole experience will only serve to reinforce everything they have been taught about people outside of their compound.

The other issue I have with this whole fiasco is the general arrogance portrayed by just about everyone. Apparently, our society on the outside world has no abuse, no sexual perversion, no teenage mothers...no, it's fine that we are placing children in same-sex households, that pornography has been completely normalized and pervades our culture, but it's THEY who are weird, perverse, and need to be "educated". I am not saying that I agree with how the FLDS culture works, but we should at least consider for a moment that they are not the only group in the world still practicing polygamy. Much of the Islamic world condones and practices polygamy. We may not agree with it, but we ought to respect their freedom to practice their religion.

Mike Watkiss from Phoenix's Channel 3 put it well when he said that it's not about polygamy itself, it's about underage girls forced into marriage with much older men. I absolutely agree that something should be done to protect these girls, so take the men and subject them to questioning, DNA testing, medical exams and the like. The children should NOT be made to suffer because of what we suspect their parents may be doing. It is truly frightening that 400 plus children can be dragged from their homes and made to live out one of their biggest fears; these children have been taught that the evil outsiders want to take them away and hurt them. And that is exactly what has happened.

See Fox's Judge Andrew Napolitano with his "verdict" on this issue - HERE

Thoughts About Motherhood

OK, so here is the thought provoking post about one of my "keys to happiness." I love being a mother! I have had my share of trials becoming a mother. I had trouble finding the father, first of all, and then once we found each other and married, getting the children here was no easy task. I won't bore you with the long version, but I will sum up by saying that I had 5 surgeries in 3 years (including my 2 c-sections) and ended up with HELLP syndrome (HERE is a good description of what that is) with my 1st baby and preeclampsia with my second.

Of course, even with "normal" deliveries, having a baby is no easy task. Then, once they're here, your world is changed forever and that can be really overwhelming. There are definitely days when I feel like I'm ready to go hide under a rock somewhere, or in my bathroom, or in my bed... But there are so many other times when I am grateful to have these two beautiful children who are bright, fun, innocent people. Do they know the sacrifices I am making for them? No. They may never know until they have their own children, but that isn't the point. It's not about acknowledgment or recognition. It's about having my three-year-old tell me, "Mommy, I'm so proud of you for going on the potty!" after watching me pee, or hearing my one-year-old point and ask, "What's dat?" about EVERYTHING!

Whoever these girls become has a lot to do with what I am doing now. Their impressions of the world and how they fit into it will be based to a large extent on how I treat them, and how they feel growing up in our home. It is true that I have known people who came from extremely difficult backgrounds rise above their childhood and become productive, happy adults. But, my hope is that my children will at least know that no matter what happens, I love them and will always be there.

So, what has made me think about this on this Monday morning? Mostly the fact that when I woke up today and heard my baby yelling, "Mama!" from her crib, I knew that she meant me. I am a mama; I am her mama, and nobody can replace me or do what I do for her. There are many who could take care of her and be there for her, but I will always be her mother. Is it overwhelming? Yes. Is it challenging? Yes. Is it worth it? Absolutely!

Who wouldn't fall in love with these 2 faces?

She's In!

We got an e-mail today from the preschool I was hoping to get Maija into. There is a spot open, so...yea!!!...Maija will for sure be going to preschool in the fall. I think I've even got summer lined up. Am I a soccer mom in training or what?

I've been teaching a little Spanish preschool class for about a month now, and I have to say that I am loving teaching again. There is something so fulfilling about seeing the lights come on, especially when they are so young and are absorbing the world around them. Many linguists believe that there is a critical period for acquiring language, which pretty much ends at puberty, and is at its height in the preschool years. You can see it with these little girls. They are taking so much in and are learning faster than my high school kids ever did.

Maija is in the Spanish class, so between my speaking to her occasionally, watching Dora, and her Spanish class, she is actually picking things up. The other night after tucking her in bed, I was headed out of her room, when she yelled to me, "Mommy! ¡Espera!" which means "Wait!" That made my day! Spontaneous Español. Now I'll have to start working on Rebekah too.

The Preschool Push

One of the "joys" of living on the outer-outskirts of town is that there just aren't enough businesses, stores, or services around. The latest dilemma has been figuring out preschool for Maija. She is starting to go stir crazy at home (making 2 of us) and is asking all the time, "Where's my school?" as we drive past our neighborhood elementary. I kept telling her that she couldn't go to school until she could go peepies on the potty.

Well, now she goes peepies on the potty (most of the time,) and she now says as we pass the elementary school, "I get to go to MY school because I go on the potty." Sigh. Now I have to do that following through part. I started by asking some of the young moms at church about local preschools, and they had great things to say about their children's schools. But, as I soon found out, getting INTO one of these schools would be no easy task.

Believe it or not, to get in for this fall it's pretty much too late already. Luckily, I started contacting preschools and submitting forms before everything filled up, but as it is, we are still on waiting lists. Is that crazy, or what? These kids are not even kindergarten age, and you have to "tour" the preschools, submit forms, pay deposits, and sit on waiting lists to get into the local homegrown preschools - these aren't fancy pre-Ivy League schools. We're talking about your average at-home operations.

The good news is that one of the home-based preschools in our neighborhood says that Maija is as good as in since we are at the top of the waiting list. The sad news is that I NEVER thought I'd be the kind of mother who would be clamoring to get my 3 year-old into preschool, waiting lists and all. Of course, I also had no idea before having a 3 year-old how ready I would be to get 2 hours twice a week with only 1 child at home.

I'm guessing that 30 years ago (OK, fine, 33 years ago) when I was 3 years old things weren't like this. Disposable diapers didn't exist, car seats as we know them didn't exist, and 3 year old children didn't go to Little Gym classes and sit on waiting lists for preschool. I'm not sure what is better, but I will say that those once-a-week tumbling classes sure do save my sanity. I'm already figuring out what we can do during the summer to keep all of us from climbing the walls in our air-conditioned home. I love the desert, but summers can be brutal!

Wish us luck with our preschool odyssey!

Countdown to Christmas

I love this time of year! I love the Christmas lights, carols, and the general spirit of the season. Even being in a desert with no prospect of a white Christmas, you can feel that it's a different time of year, a special time. We have had a lot of fun this year getting ready for Christmas because the girls, especially Maija, actually care and understand what is going on.

We got pictures with Santa; we've been watching all the classic Christmas movies and videos (Rudolf the Rednose Reindeer, anyone?); and we have had a great time decorating our tree and looking at everyone else's decorations. Maija is VERY excited to have Santa come and bring lots of presents, anything Dora or Superwhy!

Check out some of our pre-Christmas photos in the slideshow!

Oh, yeah, and MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!

Kimberlina and family

Post Traumatic Stress

Does surviving over a month of sick children, not to mention being sick myself and having my mother get sick from my children, count as severe enough stress to require a recovery period? I feel like I have spent the last few days recovering physically and mentally from the constant worrying, cleaning, comforting, and lack of sleep.

I think I can officially say (well, at least for this moment right now) that we are all healthy. Now I realize that doesn't mean that tomorrow (or even tonight) I won't wake up to another sick child, but I will comfort myself with the thought that I haven't had to run the washing machine 24 hours a day or give the same child 2 or 3 baths a day for a few days now.

With that happy thought, we are all getting excited for Christmas and the whole holiday season. Maija is now old enough to know that it's Christmas time. She knows that Santa will come and bring her presents and loves to sing "Frosty the Snowman". Tonight, as my parents were visiting us one last time before leaving town tomorrow, we asked Maija to sing for Grandpa. She had just learned a few days ago that my father's name is Frosty, so she breaks out with, "Frosty the grandpa...." I guess she was serious because when we all burst out in laughter, she looked a little hurt.

Another fun item to add to the blog, Rebekah said her first word tonight, "Ju ju". She was asking for juice, and was happily chanting "ju ju" over and over as soon as she got her juice. They grow up too fast!

Kimberlina