Thursday, May 20, 2010

Second Thoughts

This has been a rough week so far. We found out that our birthmother, K, is having second thoughts about placing her baby. As I wrote before, her mother has been in the hospital with severe pneumonia. She's been in for almost 2 weeks now and is currently on a respirator, so things are not going well at all. K's mother has not been happy about the adoption from the beginning, but K was feeling fairly confident about her decision. Now that her mother's so sick, K said she feels confused and is considering her mother's wishes to keep the family together.

Needless to say, Kent and I are very sad. I feel like there's a big giant hole in my heart that just won't be filled. We've been in this process for 6 months now, and we've already been through one disappointment not being able to adopt Forest's sibling. Now to be so close to the birth of another baby that we've been waiting for, and to have it be falling apart, it is devastating. K has not made her mind up for sure, so we're saying lots of prayers and mostly hoping that what is the right thing for her, her baby, and for us is what will happen.


hope2adoptbaby said...

I've been reading your blog for awhile (from H2H's list). My heart is sad for you and hope that all will go well with K. and her baby boy. Its so frustrating having no control, but know that YOUR baby will come. We, too, had our son's birth mom not place her second baby with us. It was devastating and we want you to know that we know exactly how you feel throughout your journey! Hugs! Hang in there! :) Shelby

kimberlina said...

Thank you. Your words are a real comfort especially coming from someone who's been through this before. It's so hard to explain to non-adoptive couples and friends the heartbreak. My only comparison is how I felt when I had a miscarriage years ago. It's the same.

Tammy said...

I am soo sorry that things can't just be smooth and easy. Heartbreak involving a child is the worst possible kind.
We are praying for your family and hope that things turn out for the best.
Love ya Kim!

Jen Johnson said...

I am so sad for you, but hopefully there will be light at the end of the tunnel at some point. We will keep you in our prayers!

Amy Lou said...

You don't know me but I think we watch each others blogs- I am Olivia's mom from the H2H blog. I am so sorry to hear about this... I know how hard it is to wait and to have no control over the situation. It will happen. Also thanks for the advice on the picky eaters- it was nice to hear that I am not the only one. Amy