Friday, May 21, 2010

The Trial of Our Faith

Our adoption agency has been trying to contact our birthmom, K, all week and have only gotten one text from her saying that she's thinking of parenting the baby. Since that text, K had agreed to talk on the phone to our caseworker, but then she wouldn't answer her calls. So...we're pretty sure that she has decided to keep the baby.

Of course my heart is broken. I feel like I've lost a child, but I keep reminding myself that the Lord has a plan for our family and for K and her baby. If he were supposed to be our son, he would be our son. We still know that our family is not complete and that there is a little person somewhere out there who God intends to be our child. Having faith in a plan that you can't see working out is a challenge. But I've been down this road before many times in different ways. It's so hard to understand what the plan is when you can only see one perspective.

"I would show unto the world that faith is things which are hoped for and not seen; wherefore, dispute not because ye see not, for ye receive no witness until after the trial of your faith."
- Ether 12:6

We are definitely hoping for things which are not seen...yet. And, yes, this is absolutely a trial of our faith.


jennie w. said...

I hate trials! You are fantastic people. You'll get that fourth baby soon.

Tammy said...

Oh Kim - I am sooo sorry! Know that we continue to pray for peace and confidence for you and your little family.
We love you to pieces - you are a great mom! Kiss those little ones for us-

jeaner29 said...

Hang in there. Trials make us stronger, wiser, and more prepared for even bigger... trials. I love you and continue to pray for you.

Omgirl said...

Oh dear. I'm so sorry, Kim! I would say I know how you feel because we are on our own "where's the baby" journey. But of course I don't know how you feel. I'm sure it's devestating, but this is your own journey with its own trials and I can only offer my sympathy.

I will pray for your baby to find you soon.